To be extremely honest, I can't even call this a vacation. I have a pretty loose schedule in Bangkok, my mom and niece were going to visit my sister and I was simply "tagging along". Yes, onto a 6 hours flight.
Before you jump to any conclusions about me being some sort of a rich, spoiled brat who takes off to another country just for the heck of it, you should know that I only paid 50% of the ticket. Thanks to my sister working for Etihad airways, her family's pretty much showered with benefits of every sort.
I was quite pleased when I received the lunch menu on the plane and Baileys Irish Cream was on the drinks list. It's not really my passion, but to think how my best friend would scream at me with jealousy when she finds out it's free, and it's unlimited... made me order myself a few of those with a huge grin.
The lunch was alright, nothing special. I think that's just because the menu that day was Asian, and the catering was done by Thai airways.
One play of the Twilight movie (which sucked, btw), a few Baileys and a short nap later, we reached the Abu Dhabi airport.
My sister doesn't live in Abu Dhabi, she lives in Dubai. But because of the cheap ticket thing, we had to land at this airport instead. That was fine though, because she doesn't live in the main city area of Dubai either. About 40 mins drive from the airport, we reached a peaceful apartment project, which consists of about 300 apartment buildings (they like their things huge and magnificent there, you see).
So me and mom pretty much passed out the moment we got all our things into the apartment. Mannu and Jenny went out to do their thing, I don't know, toys and stuff. Bought us some dinner and that was it, the first day of UAE.
Mom got on the plane when she started falling sick, with fever and a bad sore throat. Guess what happened when we woke up the next day? I caught it from her! So we went wandering around in Ibn Battuta Mall, which is HUGE. Had to walk for about 30 mins just to get from one end to the other. Of course they have one of those golf cars thingy, but with our luck we never had one passing by until it was just too close to bother.
Jenny had her fun playing at the arcade, we had some crappy tex-mex fast food and I almost had a mental orgasm just from Mt Dew. This was it for the second day, and the rest of the week was spent being sick at home and not being able to do much at all.
It's been ages since we lost the only camera we had, and during the first week we didn't have a camera. So it was kind of boring, a few strolls along some malls, a walk here and there and no pictures could have been taken. Sure, the phone works... but you know how it feels, right? when you just need something bigger than that with a good menu of settings so you can pretend to be a professional photographer at some point.
Anyway we finally decided to buy two. One video camera (for me) and one Canon Ixus digital camera for mannu.
So on the next day itself, we decided to hop onto the Dubai Big Bus tour, which costs about 2000 baht / person, children under 5 years don't have to pay. Jenny was just one week away from being 5, heh heh ^-^
It was so worth it, I was actually very impressed at how they've put this tour together. However... more on that later in the next post, with the vdo and everything :)
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Eating habits
As far as the little that I have blogged over the past year or so, I don't recall ever bitching about anything. Well here's my day to make up for it.
I'm going to do the most cliche' thing possible on a lazy Sunday girls day out - bitch out guys. All these years, all I've heard was how picky girls are when it comes to eating. Yes, some dumb girls can be, but that's when it comes to them thinking that beauty lies in looking like a figureless model.
Then they eat nothing. I mean it. I had a friend who would have literally just one tablespoon of jasmine rice with some sort of soup. That too, in a tiny bowl where you would normally put your dipping sauce in. Did it work? Hell yes it did.
She managed to shed about 20 kgs in that same year, and shed her lovely personality altogether until today.
So why do we hear so much about girls who are picky with their food?
That's simple. It's the guys who believe that the beauty lies in the skinny b*tch. You want a girl that looks like a stick, yet you complain how picky she is. Can't have all you want, little boys. Unless you get really lucky and somehow run into a high metabolism-talented woman.
I'm not really here to bitch about women's eating habits, but rather about the guys. No woman... I repeat, NO woman will ever be able to truly understand what I'm about to describe unless they have been on at least one date with such a guy.
So there you are, on a date with this guy you've felt comfortable talking with for some time. He takes you to an Italian restaurant and you start imagining what you're going to have. You know, just an idea of it, to save the looking-at-the-menu time which could take up to 10 minutes for indecisive girls.
"Alright. I'll have a pasta carbonara please."
"and sir, what will you have?"
"Umm... tuna salad, separate the dressing, thanks."
And then you just sit there, looking at the complimentary basket of bread and butter, wondering if you should even touch it... or leave it for the soon-to-be starving boy with just his salad. Then you think, is he ordering one thing at a time? Is he planning big on desserts? What is it, oh did he eat earlier, but why would he do that!
So there's your plate of creamy delicious goodness, and on the opposite side is the salad. The damn salad and your food. What women usually feel at this point, is extreme self-conscious that she might be over-eating comparing to her health freak date.
As you start digging into your food and get not too stuck into the bland conversation that either of you could be making, your eyes notice that he's picking out pieces of bacon and not eating those. Since when did men choose to NOT eat bacon bits? So you bring it up so lightly, maybe even asking if he doesn't eat pork.
Then with that blank look you get a "Oh I do, but it's just fat."
.......Ok. Yea, we know it's fat. But it's food. We're eating our food, while you're eating your grass.
Some men just love meat so much, they forget entirely that vegetables even exist. Some of them just obsess over some sort of ingredient that every meal for the next week has got to have that on the table.
Yet you say women are picky? At least we're not eating grass. Even if it's unhealthy at times, we're still not forgetting to enjoy our sense of love for life!
Bleh, there.. my whining is done.
Oh and here's a picture of cheese, just because I think it's a big pile of heaven!
I'm going to do the most cliche' thing possible on a lazy Sunday girls day out - bitch out guys. All these years, all I've heard was how picky girls are when it comes to eating. Yes, some dumb girls can be, but that's when it comes to them thinking that beauty lies in looking like a figureless model.
Then they eat nothing. I mean it. I had a friend who would have literally just one tablespoon of jasmine rice with some sort of soup. That too, in a tiny bowl where you would normally put your dipping sauce in. Did it work? Hell yes it did.
She managed to shed about 20 kgs in that same year, and shed her lovely personality altogether until today.
So why do we hear so much about girls who are picky with their food?
That's simple. It's the guys who believe that the beauty lies in the skinny b*tch. You want a girl that looks like a stick, yet you complain how picky she is. Can't have all you want, little boys. Unless you get really lucky and somehow run into a high metabolism-talented woman.
I'm not really here to bitch about women's eating habits, but rather about the guys. No woman... I repeat, NO woman will ever be able to truly understand what I'm about to describe unless they have been on at least one date with such a guy.
So there you are, on a date with this guy you've felt comfortable talking with for some time. He takes you to an Italian restaurant and you start imagining what you're going to have. You know, just an idea of it, to save the looking-at-the-menu time which could take up to 10 minutes for indecisive girls.
"Alright. I'll have a pasta carbonara please."
"and sir, what will you have?"
"Umm... tuna salad, separate the dressing, thanks."
And then you just sit there, looking at the complimentary basket of bread and butter, wondering if you should even touch it... or leave it for the soon-to-be starving boy with just his salad. Then you think, is he ordering one thing at a time? Is he planning big on desserts? What is it, oh did he eat earlier, but why would he do that!
So there's your plate of creamy delicious goodness, and on the opposite side is the salad. The damn salad and your food. What women usually feel at this point, is extreme self-conscious that she might be over-eating comparing to her health freak date.
As you start digging into your food and get not too stuck into the bland conversation that either of you could be making, your eyes notice that he's picking out pieces of bacon and not eating those. Since when did men choose to NOT eat bacon bits? So you bring it up so lightly, maybe even asking if he doesn't eat pork.
Then with that blank look you get a "Oh I do, but it's just fat."
.......Ok. Yea, we know it's fat. But it's food. We're eating our food, while you're eating your grass.
Some men just love meat so much, they forget entirely that vegetables even exist. Some of them just obsess over some sort of ingredient that every meal for the next week has got to have that on the table.
Yet you say women are picky? At least we're not eating grass. Even if it's unhealthy at times, we're still not forgetting to enjoy our sense of love for life!
Bleh, there.. my whining is done.
Oh and here's a picture of cheese, just because I think it's a big pile of heaven!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Dancing in December
Such a lovely month.
The cool breeze, clearer sky (especially in Bangkok!), I can't help but think of the endless romance going on in the world at such a time. Be it in the now freezing northern Norway, the breezy wind hitting the shores of Florida, or in the chilly London.
Such a great time of the year to cuddle up with someone you love, perhaps with a glass of red wine, next to a fireplace. Hmm... honestly though, I still manage to feel romantic even without that 'someone' at this point. It must be the dark sky, the beautiful moon... the stars, or perhaps the smiling sky not too long ago. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but I always manage to get a positive vibe of life whenever it's December. I doubt it has anything to do with my birthday, since I don't give much importance to that anymore.
I think it's the combination of everything. The holiday seasons, the colorful world whenever it's december, the cooler weather (especially when you live in Thailand, you'll appreciate the "cold"). Everything else, you can appreciate so much more in December. Like I just realized how super amazing Droste cocoa can be in my very old crappy mug, just because of the weather outside.
Hanging out with the girls never felt better, partying is always good because you know the new year is near. I know, I know. It's still just another day when you wake up, changing the number on your notes is about the only thing that's going to be new, but who can really deny that we do get a little excited at the sound of New Year's Eve?
It's like the world starts turning inwards into a huge loving circle or something. Everyone's pleasing each other, talking about plans, planning talks, vacations, seasonal shopping, party after more partying, and the presents.
I think it's the emotionally warmest month all year round, we all can magically fit everything in these 31 days, somehow. Friends, lover, family, even the boring colleagues you've been trying to not hang out with all year round.
Must be in the air, this mystical love for whoever you come across. Makes me wonder, are we secretly making up for being "naughty" during the last 11 months? You know, like when you realize something's about to end, you try your best to get the end scores to match up, just like you did with your GPA in your last college semester. Yeah I'm random, but that is kind of true!
So many things have happened this year, so many of mixed memories and emotions. It's been nice, been overwhelming, and it's been quite rough at some point.
Normally I'd ask for a peaceful year waiting for me. When things can be calmer, predictable, smooth. But you know what, I've had enough of trying to waltz lately.
I want to jive my way through 2009. I want to fall, roll in the dirt and get up again, continue dancing my way through, capturing every moment as the most beautiful parts of my memory.
Grab your bohemian skirts and slow dance to the silent nights in this breezy December, and have your champagne flutes ready for the Mimolicious 2009!
The cool breeze, clearer sky (especially in Bangkok!), I can't help but think of the endless romance going on in the world at such a time. Be it in the now freezing northern Norway, the breezy wind hitting the shores of Florida, or in the chilly London.
Such a great time of the year to cuddle up with someone you love, perhaps with a glass of red wine, next to a fireplace. Hmm... honestly though, I still manage to feel romantic even without that 'someone' at this point. It must be the dark sky, the beautiful moon... the stars, or perhaps the smiling sky not too long ago. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but I always manage to get a positive vibe of life whenever it's December. I doubt it has anything to do with my birthday, since I don't give much importance to that anymore.
I think it's the combination of everything. The holiday seasons, the colorful world whenever it's december, the cooler weather (especially when you live in Thailand, you'll appreciate the "cold"). Everything else, you can appreciate so much more in December. Like I just realized how super amazing Droste cocoa can be in my very old crappy mug, just because of the weather outside.
Hanging out with the girls never felt better, partying is always good because you know the new year is near. I know, I know. It's still just another day when you wake up, changing the number on your notes is about the only thing that's going to be new, but who can really deny that we do get a little excited at the sound of New Year's Eve?
It's like the world starts turning inwards into a huge loving circle or something. Everyone's pleasing each other, talking about plans, planning talks, vacations, seasonal shopping, party after more partying, and the presents.
I think it's the emotionally warmest month all year round, we all can magically fit everything in these 31 days, somehow. Friends, lover, family, even the boring colleagues you've been trying to not hang out with all year round.
Must be in the air, this mystical love for whoever you come across. Makes me wonder, are we secretly making up for being "naughty" during the last 11 months? You know, like when you realize something's about to end, you try your best to get the end scores to match up, just like you did with your GPA in your last college semester. Yeah I'm random, but that is kind of true!
So many things have happened this year, so many of mixed memories and emotions. It's been nice, been overwhelming, and it's been quite rough at some point.
Normally I'd ask for a peaceful year waiting for me. When things can be calmer, predictable, smooth. But you know what, I've had enough of trying to waltz lately.
I want to jive my way through 2009. I want to fall, roll in the dirt and get up again, continue dancing my way through, capturing every moment as the most beautiful parts of my memory.
Grab your bohemian skirts and slow dance to the silent nights in this breezy December, and have your champagne flutes ready for the Mimolicious 2009!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
A moment of flying thoughts
Here's an entry I've written and never actually published it for some unknown reason. Oh well, found it so.. here it is --
What life are we all living here, following what the crowd think is a good idea, smiling in the exact same way on the camera each time you know your moment is about to be captured.
How are we different from a herd of sheep at this point? Perhaps the only level of difference right now is the violence. Oh how we struggle to make our point, how we bring our message out to the world when we feel the need to vent. Oh how great this planet could turn out to be, if only just a small group of people could use such amount of energy in a positive way. You know, pro-this, pro-that, try to make something out of the times that we are living in.
Every decade in the history of time earned their signature lines. the 60's, the 70's, the 80's and so on, just say what time in history it was, we'd know what it was all about. So say... 30 years from now when the adolescence are hanging out on their typical weekend spot, one young man would say "Oh hey guys this is so like the early 2000's". What would he be referring to?
At this point of time somehow I'm not going to be surprised if what he's pointing at would be a group of tasteless, unwanted and ambition-free people in a point in town where it's typically a garbage dump. So useless, lack of culture, morals, values, intellect, so early 2000's.
What life are we all living here, following what the crowd think is a good idea, smiling in the exact same way on the camera each time you know your moment is about to be captured.
How are we different from a herd of sheep at this point? Perhaps the only level of difference right now is the violence. Oh how we struggle to make our point, how we bring our message out to the world when we feel the need to vent. Oh how great this planet could turn out to be, if only just a small group of people could use such amount of energy in a positive way. You know, pro-this, pro-that, try to make something out of the times that we are living in.
Every decade in the history of time earned their signature lines. the 60's, the 70's, the 80's and so on, just say what time in history it was, we'd know what it was all about. So say... 30 years from now when the adolescence are hanging out on their typical weekend spot, one young man would say "Oh hey guys this is so like the early 2000's". What would he be referring to?
At this point of time somehow I'm not going to be surprised if what he's pointing at would be a group of tasteless, unwanted and ambition-free people in a point in town where it's typically a garbage dump. So useless, lack of culture, morals, values, intellect, so early 2000's.
Friday, October 24, 2008
When A Wishbone Met The Backbone
There are two kinds of people in this world, someone said to me yesterday.
The ones who say "I can do this", and the ones who say "I don't think I can do this"
The problem, is that both kinds are right.
The problem, is that both kinds are right.
For twelve solid years, I have wanted one thing that I could not achieve during those years.
If I had wanted to give up, I could have left it all behind any moment at all during these years.
I'm still young, and am aware that I probably haven't even met half of what life has to offer - be it good or bad. Though lets just say it hasn't exactly been the smooth path for me. Being different is a gift, but being different when you're forced to be the same is a difficulty.
What do you do when you thrive to be seen as who you are, but keep being pushed down to remain under the radar? Do you push yourself up higher because you know you can make yourself into something better, or do you lay low just because it seems like the "right" thing to do?
What if you choose to push higher, and for all those years, people around you keep pulling your legs to the ground... how do you "fly"?
The question is... are you going to try harder or just let it go?
But then I went with the dream later anyway, to be honest... it was just because I had no idea what else to do. Young and bored, I needed a dream to hold on to, just for the heck of it. So instead of looking for a new one, I held on to the same thing.
Years went by, I went for try-outs. Either it's the people around me stopping me from succeeding, or I just don't get in. More the reason to give up, but I used these reasons to push me higher, and to think of it today ... boy am I glad I did that!
So.. when you want to be famous, be known, be 'out there', and all you hear are stories about people who were in the business since there were infants, or got into some modeling job before they finally climbed onto a stage... and you're just an ordinary person in your late teens. Been nowhere near that spotlight, the big camera, or the crowd. Are people like this meant to shine?
Oh, what a bunch of crap! "It's just not meant to be" is a very, very depressing and senseless sentence. YOU write your own destiny, YOU determine whether you're going anywhere in life or not, and YOU define your own choices. They key word here is CHOICE, not chance.
I mean, how can ANYONE just sit around waiting for their destiny to hit them? And when nothing happens in their life, all they say is "well, I guess it wasn't meant to be". Humanity can be a HUGE disappointment sometimes, Alysa wasn't exaggerating, that's what I know now.
The thing about me is that I don't give up. I don't necessarily talk about the things I'm still working hard for, but I've never truly given up on anything, and certainly not hope itself.
Trust me that starts to pay off some time later in each of our lives. Whatever you wish for, dream of, think about, keep doing it! If you dare to ask, the universe itself will deliver those things into the palm of your hands. So, are you sure you actually want what you think you want? Or is it just a good idea to you, just because it's just so "hip" to have a dream?
Of course, dreaming and fighting alone isn't everything. I don't believe any living individual can achieve any extreme success on his own. He may get to one point and even be happy about it, but without the "backbone", he's not where he really can be.
I don't believe in working for someone or working above anyone. Imagine two high potential-filled people working WITH each other. Imagine, can you just picture the level of success they could achieve TOGETHER?
YOU, dreamer, you are the wishbone. What we dreamers need are the backbone. Be they friends or family for the moral support, the investors who believe in your potential, or a group of strangers who for an unknown reason... think you just rock.
All these years all I had was my little wishbone, and well... one random day, comes the backbone (potential, still) to help me get to where I've always wanted to.
So here it starts, here we go... I've got all I need. Years of anticipating, lessons of disappointment, NO support, which is great! Because that's exactly how I learned to be even stronger. And I have me.. believing in what I can do, and will CHOOSE to do.
Sometimes it's just not the dreamers' fault that they don't make it that far. All the backbones out there... look around yourselves a little more, you could be building something magnificent by just lending a helping hand =)
Oh well I'm not going to dig in deeper and boast about my plans or what I have in store for myself, but I will be trying my best without any intention of giving up just like always, and we will see.... we will, eventually, see where I can really take myself to.
If I had wanted to give up, I could have left it all behind any moment at all during these years.
I'm still young, and am aware that I probably haven't even met half of what life has to offer - be it good or bad. Though lets just say it hasn't exactly been the smooth path for me. Being different is a gift, but being different when you're forced to be the same is a difficulty.
What do you do when you thrive to be seen as who you are, but keep being pushed down to remain under the radar? Do you push yourself up higher because you know you can make yourself into something better, or do you lay low just because it seems like the "right" thing to do?
What if you choose to push higher, and for all those years, people around you keep pulling your legs to the ground... how do you "fly"?
The question is... are you going to try harder or just let it go?
Can you trust this longing, and take control?
I let it go..... for 8 months exactly. 8 months, out of 12 years. That was the period of time when I thought that I was too dreamy, too unrealistic, and just too absurd altogether. But then I went with the dream later anyway, to be honest... it was just because I had no idea what else to do. Young and bored, I needed a dream to hold on to, just for the heck of it. So instead of looking for a new one, I held on to the same thing.
Years went by, I went for try-outs. Either it's the people around me stopping me from succeeding, or I just don't get in. More the reason to give up, but I used these reasons to push me higher, and to think of it today ... boy am I glad I did that!
So.. when you want to be famous, be known, be 'out there', and all you hear are stories about people who were in the business since there were infants, or got into some modeling job before they finally climbed onto a stage... and you're just an ordinary person in your late teens. Been nowhere near that spotlight, the big camera, or the crowd. Are people like this meant to shine?
Oh, what a bunch of crap! "It's just not meant to be" is a very, very depressing and senseless sentence. YOU write your own destiny, YOU determine whether you're going anywhere in life or not, and YOU define your own choices. They key word here is CHOICE, not chance.
I mean, how can ANYONE just sit around waiting for their destiny to hit them? And when nothing happens in their life, all they say is "well, I guess it wasn't meant to be". Humanity can be a HUGE disappointment sometimes, Alysa wasn't exaggerating, that's what I know now.
The thing about me is that I don't give up. I don't necessarily talk about the things I'm still working hard for, but I've never truly given up on anything, and certainly not hope itself.
Trust me that starts to pay off some time later in each of our lives. Whatever you wish for, dream of, think about, keep doing it! If you dare to ask, the universe itself will deliver those things into the palm of your hands. So, are you sure you actually want what you think you want? Or is it just a good idea to you, just because it's just so "hip" to have a dream?
Of course, dreaming and fighting alone isn't everything. I don't believe any living individual can achieve any extreme success on his own. He may get to one point and even be happy about it, but without the "backbone", he's not where he really can be.
I don't believe in working for someone or working above anyone. Imagine two high potential-filled people working WITH each other. Imagine, can you just picture the level of success they could achieve TOGETHER?
YOU, dreamer, you are the wishbone. What we dreamers need are the backbone. Be they friends or family for the moral support, the investors who believe in your potential, or a group of strangers who for an unknown reason... think you just rock.
All these years all I had was my little wishbone, and well... one random day, comes the backbone (potential, still) to help me get to where I've always wanted to.
So here it starts, here we go... I've got all I need. Years of anticipating, lessons of disappointment, NO support, which is great! Because that's exactly how I learned to be even stronger. And I have me.. believing in what I can do, and will CHOOSE to do.
Sometimes it's just not the dreamers' fault that they don't make it that far. All the backbones out there... look around yourselves a little more, you could be building something magnificent by just lending a helping hand =)
Oh well I'm not going to dig in deeper and boast about my plans or what I have in store for myself, but I will be trying my best without any intention of giving up just like always, and we will see.... we will, eventually, see where I can really take myself to.
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life, and start to try... 'cause it's your time, time to fly.
Monday, February 18, 2008
A Little Bit of Twist
So much has been going on life that I never blogged about, shame on me for naming this blog oh-so-fancily and just leaving it all alone -_-
Well anyway, I'm going to Bangalore some time in a week to check the place out, the university, surroundings, everything... and just enroll.
So... I'm moving there. Five years it is, until I get my BA in Psychology. That doesn't really mean much, so to do what I really want to, that takes me further into the education world... up to the master's degree level and possibly PhD. I'm so sleepy I'm not even sure what I'm typing.
But I'm thinking... should I start planning now? Where do I go for master's degree? What about financially; I should start a financial plan that will save up enough money for the fees at that time including back up savings. Gosh why do I think and talk so much?
Why am I filled with so much ... passion.. ambitions, whatever the heck it is. Often I wonder, why wasn't I born with the mentality of a lazy idiot who wishes to do nothing in life. Perhaps that would be the easiest way off to be happy.
But no, I have to do this. I have to go out there and do the typical "search for who I am" thing. It's kind of getting me a little scared. Scared that I might screw up. That I might.. I don't know, just fail, I guess? More than the fear of disappointing anyone, I'm scared of disappointing myself. You know.. this is it. This is the beginning of that future I've been longing for. It's the start of that journey now, where I can finally make use of what I'm passionate about. It's at least 8 years of hard work. A lot of risks, a lot of chances, opportunities, education, people to meet, things to do, and a lot of courage that I need to have with me during all those years. I'll be alone. Physically alone. I'm growing up, like really finally growing up. I kinda want someone to be there with me all the way and hold my hand ... oh crap, not another sleepy immature though! -_-'
I'm not sure why I ever wanted to grow up. It's always been something that I've wanted to do, ever since ... well, all that time when I was still a little kid.
Now this song's playing on my winamp and it fits so perfectly right here.
"Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear. And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear take the wheel and steer. It's driven me before, and it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal. But lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel."
Yes... I should learn. Learn from that song. Damn it, music .... gives me the feeling that nothing else in the world can.
..."but lately I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself, my light is found"
Ok, now I feel more sane. Thanks to Incubus... I guess. Or perhaps thanks to that other part of my brain telling me to calm the fark down, and everything will be fine.
I can't say I guess I'm ready. I don't think I am. But here it is, the future is infront of my eyes. I must take that step, right?
I mean..wait what?
Oh. Right. Yea, that step. I'm freaking 19 already. If I don't do it now, yea ok education is acceptable at any age. But come on... I have to go there. Start now. While I still have the passion for it..........then end up in the country somewhere, anywhere... with a little bakery perhaps when i'm 40.
Ok. I think I'm done whining. And I'll try to whine more often than this. I'll save lives of the people on msn who have to listen to me whine there, and well ... ha-ha. You're a blog so you can't whine back at me. I PWN !! ^___________^
Well anyway, I'm going to Bangalore some time in a week to check the place out, the university, surroundings, everything... and just enroll.
So... I'm moving there. Five years it is, until I get my BA in Psychology. That doesn't really mean much, so to do what I really want to, that takes me further into the education world... up to the master's degree level and possibly PhD. I'm so sleepy I'm not even sure what I'm typing.
But I'm thinking... should I start planning now? Where do I go for master's degree? What about financially; I should start a financial plan that will save up enough money for the fees at that time including back up savings. Gosh why do I think and talk so much?
Why am I filled with so much ... passion.. ambitions, whatever the heck it is. Often I wonder, why wasn't I born with the mentality of a lazy idiot who wishes to do nothing in life. Perhaps that would be the easiest way off to be happy.
But no, I have to do this. I have to go out there and do the typical "search for who I am" thing. It's kind of getting me a little scared. Scared that I might screw up. That I might.. I don't know, just fail, I guess? More than the fear of disappointing anyone, I'm scared of disappointing myself. You know.. this is it. This is the beginning of that future I've been longing for. It's the start of that journey now, where I can finally make use of what I'm passionate about. It's at least 8 years of hard work. A lot of risks, a lot of chances, opportunities, education, people to meet, things to do, and a lot of courage that I need to have with me during all those years. I'll be alone. Physically alone. I'm growing up, like really finally growing up. I kinda want someone to be there with me all the way and hold my hand ... oh crap, not another sleepy immature though! -_-'
I'm not sure why I ever wanted to grow up. It's always been something that I've wanted to do, ever since ... well, all that time when I was still a little kid.
Now this song's playing on my winamp and it fits so perfectly right here.
"Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear. And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear take the wheel and steer. It's driven me before, and it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal. But lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel."
Yes... I should learn. Learn from that song. Damn it, music .... gives me the feeling that nothing else in the world can.
..."but lately I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself, my light is found"
Ok, now I feel more sane. Thanks to Incubus... I guess. Or perhaps thanks to that other part of my brain telling me to calm the fark down, and everything will be fine.
I can't say I guess I'm ready. I don't think I am. But here it is, the future is infront of my eyes. I must take that step, right?
I mean..wait what?
Oh. Right. Yea, that step. I'm freaking 19 already. If I don't do it now, yea ok education is acceptable at any age. But come on... I have to go there. Start now. While I still have the passion for it..........then end up in the country somewhere, anywhere... with a little bakery perhaps when i'm 40.
Ok. I think I'm done whining. And I'll try to whine more often than this. I'll save lives of the people on msn who have to listen to me whine there, and well ... ha-ha. You're a blog so you can't whine back at me. I PWN !! ^___________^
Something To Think About
I didn't write this, but I'm in love with it.
Here's to the crazy ones.
The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They're not fond of rules,
They have no respect for the status quo.
You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can't do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They invent.
They imagine.
They heal.
They explore.
They create.
They inspire.
They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy.
How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that's never been written?
Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.
Here's to the crazy ones.
The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They're not fond of rules,
They have no respect for the status quo.
You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can't do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They invent.
They imagine.
They heal.
They explore.
They create.
They inspire.
They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy.
How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that's never been written?
Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.
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